Existential Problem

When you can do whatever you want, each day is an existential problem.

I was fully occupied the first few years learning to walk and talk and to control certain bodily functions and impulses. Then school provided structure for about 17 years. I went to class, did my homework, and discovered I loved to learn. Earning a living focused me for decades. It wasn't about the money. I wanted to assert myself in the world, prove that having two "X" chromosomes was not a barrier to success. I did okay.

Then I moved to Orlando. My family, used to my independent life in other cities, didn't rush to fill my days. Professional opportunities? Fuhgeddaboutit! I networked diligently for about nine months, then lucked into the assignment as Interim Executive Director of the Jewish Federation of Greater Orlando; I was a one-woman turnaround team.

Since January 2010, I've been improvising my responses to the existential challenge. Executive coaching is gratifying but takes up time only in spurts. Grassroots political organizing has brought wonderful new friendships. Writing poetry has proved an outlet for feelings and thoughts not readily expressed. Family has come into play. It is never too late to become a soccer mom.

I don't want the tight restraints of a full-time job, but creating new challenges takes a lot of energy. Let's see what I get myself into next.